Yesterday I was at the bank depositing the last of the Girl Scout cookie money into the Troop bank account. I had forgotten the deposit slip, but I had the account number saved in my phone. But the teller said that the account number was not correct. I suggesting adding some zeros in front or maybe putting a number 1 at the end, but the teller said that the account still was not coming up. So, she looked it up by its name, and I was not sure if it was Girl Scout Troop # or Troop # or if the account was in the Troop Leader's name. The teller said she still could not find the bank account. I told the teller I would go back home and get the deposit slip and then we would have the correct account number.
As I am driving away I see the bank that is across the street and I realize that I have been at the wrong bank. I was at the wrong bank for like 15 minutes. Seriously. Without even a glimmer or a hint in my mind that I am at the wrong bank. And I had been at the correct bank three times previously this month to make Girl Scout cookie deposits.
I could not believe it. How could I have been at the incorrect bank without realizing it for so long?
In "Gifts of the Dark Wood" Eric Elnes talks about being aware of those moments when the divine speaks to us. It is those moments in our lives when we feel like "the lightbulb came on", or we had an "aha" moment or a "moment of clarity". Something clicks into place that impacts our life's direction in some way (p. 68). The author says, "when the lightning flashes and thunder reverberates powerfully and repeatedly in the same location, it is a good sign that we are to move in the direction it indicates. We feel drawn to move in this direction because it calls to our deepest self and feels most natural" (69).
When I was standing at the incorrect bank for 15 minutes I obviously was not listening to my deepest self or hearing the divine speak to me. I was pretty confident that I was in the correct bank. But I was not.
The teller asked me about the bank account number at least 3 times. "Are you sure this is the right account number?" THREE TIMES! And I wasn't paying attention. And I wasn't listening.
How many times in our lives are we so sure of something? But it isn't the right thing. We aren't in the right place. We aren't doing the right thing.
Elnes talks about taking a leap into the Great Unknown and he says that the Holy Spirit rarely invites us to take a leap without leading us to the edge of the cliff by way of a thousand smaller steps. He says, "by the time you reach the edge, therefore, you have responded to so many sweet-spot moments and experienced so much confirmation of your direction that the leap isn't so much a leap but one more small step" (72).
One more small step. This week I am going to pay attention to the small steps. And listen for confirmation of my direction.